I am a broken man. I am an orphan. I’ve always had an anchor in my
life, and now my ship has been cast adrift in a storm. Can I sail on,
or must I be forever lost?
As most of you know by now, my mother passed away June 7th, after
a long two-year battle with bad health. She lasted 8-3/4 months after
my dad died in September.
Dad was always the one in my family who kept my feet planted
firmly on the ground. He was like a drill instructor when it came to
business and life. You didn’t mess with either one. His idea of work
was, “get there early, work like hell all day long, and leave
late”.
He didn’t believe much in vacations until later in life, and he
didn’t believe in being sick on work days.
Mother, on the other hand, drilled me on the English language,
punctuation, etc. She also let me know that while work was very
important and put bread on the table, it was okay to also have fun.
If it hadn’t been for mother, I don’t know if I would still be
at
the newspaper office all these 33 years. Dad and I didn’t exactly see
eye to eye at work, and we had many arguments over his idea of work,
and what he thought I considered work. Mother was always there to
calm Dad down, and make me see his point of view, and vice-versa.
Dad’s idea of life was, “be honest and truthful at all times.
Never cheat anyone, even the IRS”. When I got caught doing things my
father didn’t approve of, it was Mother who acted as mediator for us.
When Dad grounded me for six weeks, it was Mother who got the
sentence “commuted” to two weeks.
My Mom was always there for us kids. She is the one who played the
“good cop”, in the “good cop, bad cop” scenes played at our
home all
too often. Alana, Tracy and I all benefitted from Mother’s love for
us. Don’t get me wrong, we all benefitted from Dad’s honesty and
his
work ethic, but love always seems to be remembered fonder than
discipline.
It was my mother who prompted me to write more, to be more a part
of the newspaper, and not just an employee. She had great pride in
our family business.
My sister, Alana, has been great through the sickness and loss of
Mom. She has helped hold this family together during our grief. Thank
God she is here for us. My younger sister, Tracy, is having the
hardest time, having lived with Mom and Dad the last thirty years or
so. It seemed at times that she and Mom were joined at the hip. I’m
the only son, so I have to put on a brave face, even though my heart
is broken.
Few people I know could’ve helped me out of my “blue funk”. My
lovely wife, Barbara, has held me, wiped my tears, and been there
every step of the way. She is a Godsend, and I thank my lucky stars I
married my best friend.
My mentor is gone. It is so very hard to sit here and write about
Mom without crying out loud. My tears fall softly as I sit at my
computer, alone in my office.
I recall in my younger years, someone would yell at me saying,
“you momma’s boy!” All I can say now is, “you damn right!”
Where Am I To Go?
What Am I To Do?
BY BRETT AUTRY
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